Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
