she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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