do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
