went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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