So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
