If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
