but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
