I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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