I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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