is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
