I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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