Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
