What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
