Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
