Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
