I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
