redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
