Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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