the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm having to shit out rocks
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
please don't ironically join a cult
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