did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
