Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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