girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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