Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
