Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
