At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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