pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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