so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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