I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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