god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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