I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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