Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize