dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
