hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
