He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
