her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
