fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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