I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
