I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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