Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize