Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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