I think im going to throw up on grandma
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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