can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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