btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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