Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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