Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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