I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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