Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
