its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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