just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
