sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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