Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
