Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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