dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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