Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
