shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
