I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
