i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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