nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You had me at "let me see your balls"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
