Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
