And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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